THE ORIENTATION PROGRAM

Ram was excited. Today was the 1st of May, 2009. It was the first day of his orientation program with a leading group with diverse interests with whom he had recently secured a job. He just could not wait to meet the different department people and learn more about the Group. He had recently graduated from a leading business school where he had secured the gold medal. He was now keen to meet his new colleagues.

He shivered as he entered the conference room where people from different departments would come and deliver an introductory talk. “The air conditioning was working overtime, it seemed or was he just plain nervous,” he thought as he took his seat among ten other new recruits.

The first two sessions lasted for 3 hours. Somebody spoke on the need for current business transformation at various levels while someone spoke on future business strategy for the Group. Ram was starting to feel thoroughly bored.

“This is turning out to be worse than an MBA lecture though I guess it cannot be helped. It’s a part and parcel of the orientation program. After all, the Group does want to make a good first impression on the MBA recruits…,“ he thought…

As the talks continued, a fellow recruit asked Ram what were some of the things that he had observed in the last 6 hours. Ram was in a flippant mood.

“Well, we need to align people with business strategy and if they do not agree, then to bring them into these cold gas chambers called conference rooms, said Ram “and bombard them with fancy phrases designed to develop an inferiority complex…I guess that’s what they are trying – the pompous head of departments…,”

Rohan, another new recruit who was sitting next to Ram burst out laughing.

“What the top brass needs is a class on effective communication,” said Rohan and patted Ram on the back.

“Yes, said Ram and I bet they won’t ask for feedback. So much for effective communication…"

“Hey Rohan, did you notice something – all the department heads are male – no ladies at top positions out here.“

“That’s obvious Ram, women belong to the kitchen, don’t they,” Rohan winked.

"It’s an offshoot of the glass ceiling, Rohan and its rather sad."

"You seem to know a lot," said Rohan marveling. "Yes, we are all mostly chauvinist pigs…Well, did you notice that one of the department heads insisted on being called by first name – now that’s confidence…"

"Right," said Ram – "he is a person who has resolved what is called a power distance issue. He is non-Japanese in his approach and very American-like. Talk about cultural anomalies. The other Head who spoke on business alignment was somewhat reserved and boorish. I guess he draws his kicks from his position which he thinks he deserved because of his years of hard work – whew! talk about quantity over quality…His role has taken over his person."

"You mean like human versus robot…person and role…"

"Right!"

"That’s not too bad – but at least he is consistently robot – most people are confused midway."

"Hmmm…you have a point…"

"Hey, Ram remember that guy who spoke on transcendental meditation. What happens in that? Do people rise above their seats and float in the air?" 

"Nah! says Ram – Its about overcoming your conditioning – you transcend above your set patterns and develop an observing ego…you don’t really rise above your seat – rather, you realize that you might need to change your seat in life…from that perspective you are not rising but rather sinking because you realize that all your life has been a lie…and you didn’t even know it…"

"Gosh – that’s deep!" said Rohan…

"Deep – yes, its more of sinking below your seat than rising in the air… you know – sinking into hell rather than rising into heaven – considering that in my belief system both don’t exist…"

"You mean – you do not believe in God?"

"Nah! I am an atheist…I have transcended and I did it without meditating…" 

"That’s a mean one – you are making fun of believers – that’s not nice…"

"Hmmm…maybe not…OK I apologize….each to his own…"

(To be continued…)

By Me