Important Phases in my Life

I encountered phases 1 and 2 in my life. These phases made me realize that there was more to life than the conventional route we are conditioned to follow. I began to discover myself in relation to the Universe and my place in it. I introspected a lot and reflected on life. I will briefly state what I learnt in phases 1 and 2 when I was not working but was trying to get in touch with myself, reflecting and introspecting…

Phase 1

My desire to search for ‘answers’ led me to various metaphysical areas. I quit my job and began the process of self-discovery where I strived to connect to something higher to me – the Universe. I had an intrinsic desire to explore myself in context to my environment and I set forth to understand whether life is deterministic or whether I have the power to recreate my Universe through enhanced awareness. I concluded that it is indeed possible to overcome one’s conditioning and change one’s cognitive map and ‘world view’ and create purpose for oneself in life which may be different, unique and more meaningful than what religions or cultures claim to prescribe. One outcome was that I was able to transcend organized religion. I was also able to transcend societal shared values and developed my own individuality leading to a much more integrated me.

Phase 2

While in phase 1, I had looked at Universal and societal laws to modify my world view and had come to the conclusion that Man had the power to recreate his universe; I realized to truly become free, I had to overcome the deterministic forces which guided my own psyche to some extent. This led me to the realm of self-analysis. I endeavored to understand my unconscious. Why do I perceive and respond the way I do? What is the content within me which is repressed and seeks expression? What are my defense mechanisms and how do they operate when confronted with threatening environmental stimuli? How strong is my sense of self? How powerful is my self-esteem? What motivates and stimulates me? How am I to realize my true potential? I realized that I had to get rid of my excess baggage and move towards differentiation, thus achieving a strong enough individuality to enable me to re-create my own reality and develop my unique purpose. Once sufficient differentiation was achieved, I strived to re-integrate so as to achieve a holistic perspective, yet maintaining my individuality.

I was thereby able to conclude that what I really want to do is continuously extend myself for the continued mental and spiritual growth (evolution) of myself as well as willing others, to help people move towards realizing their true potential, to live a life of introspection, reflection, action and continuous growth such that meaning is derived through loving interchange between self and environment where both nurture each other.

My personal location

I feel connected...am rediscovering myself with respect to my relationships...I feel enlargened...more clarity and yet more questions...with an intent to understand more - there is enhanced stability...there is excitement - there is great hope...there is a sense of possibility - a sense of success...a feeling of growth - enhanced responsibility, enhanced motivation - love and care...a sense of floating yet firmly anchored...change and transformation... :-)

I feel that I am moving ahead yet very much in the present...Life is better and more inclusive...

Random Thoughts !!!

What is life all about? Is it about acquiring or is it about releasing? Is it about movement or is it about stillness? Am I an island or am I a node in a network? Is life about rigidity or is it about perspective? What is happiness? Is it a transient feeling or a state of permanence? How can one define it? When I say I am happy what am I actually saying? Am I saying that everything is under control or am I saying that control is not an issue? What do relationships mean to me? Am I just me or a product of my relationships? What does security mean to me? Does loneliness scare me? What does approval mean to me? Do I feel deprived without it or does my concept of self allow me to truly be myself without needing approval?

As I ask myself these questions today, I wonder, and I am grateful that I can wonder - As I reach out to the core of myself, I feel like a seeker and a novice, approaching life with flexible boundaries, allowing myself to wander in the stillness of life where beauty and love abound - where I just am, just being, waiting and yet realizing that there is nothing to wait for, that the present is now, and all that can happen is happening now...already..

I feel like sharing this moment with all of you - and hope that you will share your moments with me... and together let us connect to be all that we can, all that which is possible, all that and more...

Where I am now...

Where I am now...my personal location...

I am happy, relaxed, hopeful, filled with awe about life, feel good about myself and filled with love...

I try to be true to myself and others yet I feel that I can still do better - be truer - be more authentic than I already am...and how is that possible...it is only through continuous reflection, experimentation and feedback that I can become more integrated, more honest and more 'me...'

I have discovered that for me happiness is not elusive - it is the aspirations that I have that may be elusive...and if I link those aspirations to my happiness then yes, happiness can be elusive...but I don't do that and so for me it is not elusive...:):):) and I thank life for that...

I feel deeply and passionately, and this sometimes leads me to introspection - to examine my feelings in relation to myself and my environment...I am because I feel...

I feel the need of a companion with whom I can be intimate, but the need is not compelling...or is it?...I need to look more carefully at it...

I realize that I am unique just like everyone else and that I can do things because I want to do them irrespective of what other's think...this lends further to my uniqueness and makes me more of what I am...

I am lazy at times - I need to look at that and understand whether it is habitual or whether at points I lack motivation...

I am grateful to life and to all people who have in so many ways enriched my life and I salute them...

I believe in myself and that is the most important thing...