CATHARSIS

“Come in Radhika, how are you today?” the psychoanalyst asked. He had a sober expression on his face and was gently smiling.

Radhika looked troubled. She winced at his greeting and quietly sat down, hands folded over her lap. She said nothing.

10 silent minutes passed before Radhika spoke, “Last time we discovered that I have a problem with experimenting with new things. I would like to explore that further. I am 40 years old and there is so much to do, but its just that I have this strange fear…I can’t explain it.”

“What happens to you when you think of experimenting with something?” the analyst asked.

Radhika thought for a while. “Well, I experience a strange sense of sadness…a sense of fear that something bad will happen.”

You know, this morning as I thought about all the therapy sessions that I have had with you, I felt a little worried. I experienced that same sense of sadness…that same sense of fear…I don’t know…It’s just that we have spent so much time already; I hope you won’t give up on me.”

“If that were to happen, what would it mean to you? the analyst asked quietly.

“I don’t know…I guess it would be a sense of loss, a sense of losing someone I trust…” Radhika stuttered.

“Can you recollect a time when you lost someone whom you trusted?” the analyst asked.

Radhika was quiet. Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes and she started sobbing. After a couple of minutes she composed herself and said in a broken voice, “Rachita, my close friend, whom I lost when I stole her bike and banged it into a car. She has never spoken to me after that. And I have never ridden since then.”

The analyst did not say anything. After about 10 minutes, he asked, “You love your friend very much?”

Radhika nodded slowly. “Yes, she is very valuable to me.”

The analyst nodded, “Just as this therapy is valuable to you.”

Radhika looked up confused.

“Do you think it is possible that the loss of your friendship has affected you so deeply that you now deeply fear losing anything that is valuable to you? Do you think this is a pattern now with you? the analyst asked softly…

There was a deafening silence…as the session ended.

The next day Radhika mysteriously quit therapy.

It was almost a year since then when Radhika bumped into the analyst in a mall. She was accompanied by a tall lady.

“Hello,” she greeted him warmly.

“Hello Radhika, how are you? the analyst asked.

“I am great. I want to apologize for just leaving therapy like that but I guess I was very threatened with your observation. But in course of time, I realized that you were right and that I had an unconscious pattern. So, I patched up with Rachita. This is her,” she bubbled pointing at the tall lady.

The analyst beamed. “I am happy for you, Radhika. All the best! I have to leave now for a session.”

“Just a moment,” said Radhika as they stepped outside the mall. “Can I give you a ride?” she smiled pointing at her new bike.

by Vikas and Me